Courteous of Our Friend]Colleague in Oakland, Ca — Dennis Roberts:
1. Unpaid tickets. Pay all your tickets and do not have any warrants outstanding.
2. Make certain your car is in good condition with license plate and all other lights working.
3. Please try to refrain from burrning one on the drive. I know it is a long trip but if you can’t make it without a doobie, don’t go.
4. If you are a member of a race who stands out in that area like a sore thumb, beware that the police may target you and come up with a pre-textual reason (that means bullshit reason) to stop on you on a technicality. Lesson: hire someone who doesn’t stand out like a sore thumb.
5. You are not in a rush. Obey the speed laws and use your turn signals.
6. If there is no reason to be carrying a lot of cash – hello, don’t carry a lot of cash – unless you want to lose it should the police harass them.
7. No one has ever talked their way out of that nasty stop. Keep your mouth shut. Really shut. The only thing you are allowed to say is, “Sir, I would like to contact my attorney”. Keep saying it despite the cop saying, “if you’ve got nothing to hide, why do you need a lawyer.” To this you respond – “Sir, I would like to contact my attorney.” Keep saying this until even you are tired of hearing it, then say it some more.
Finally, and this is another one of Dennis’ “many years ago” stories. In the late sixties, early seventies, there was a group called the Brotherhood of Eternal Love – Tim Leary’s gang, down in Laguna Beach, CA. One of ther guys was about 6′ tall, kind of awkward looking and thin. He drove a car in excellent condition but it was cheap and relatiely old. He always wore suits but they were a bit too tight and too short in the sleves. He carried a very cheap briefcase. This is both when driving and when flying. In the cheap briefcase was either a shitload of LSD or a shitload of cash which he was bringing back. HE WAS NEVER BUSTED. HE WAS NEVER EVEN QUESTIONED.